Contact Mind Management Psychology on 03 9389 3761
Nial Wotherspoon | Mind Management Psychology | Psychologists Melbourne | Psychologist In Melbourne | Psychologist Melbourne CBD | Bulk Billing Psychologist Melbourne | Family Psychologist Melbourne
  • Home
  • Meet Nial
  • The Four Week Program
  • FAQ
  • Contact
  • Blog

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SWIMMING

6/2/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
aving been a recreational swimmer for several years now and asking people who don’t swim ‘about swimming’ the usual answer I get is: “I am just not a swimmer”, “I don’t like the water”, “It wrecks my hair or skin”, “I used to do it”, or, for those who do: “I need to swim regularly, in fact the day is not the same when I don’t”, “Swimming helps me clear my mind, it relaxes me or it wakes me up”.

The first thing to note about swimming is that it’s done virtually in your ‘birthday suit’, your body which for many is a very ‘big’ problem. Many readers may be not like their body’s shape, size or general appearance and therefore the thought of the body being ‘seen’ is abhorrent, an anathema. In the post on ‘Where Do You Really Live? A new address with Mind Management Psychology we suggested we all really live in our bodies. Swimmers know this well.

Once you get over the body being on ‘public display’ you realise two things. 1) All bodies are imperfect and 2) Although the body is critical for empowering the swimmer, once you start swimming this has an immediate impact on your mind, on expanding this mind. And this mind is the KEY to empowering whatever you do. If you don’t believe this, then simply try it.

BUT….slow down in the water, feel being totally surrounded by the water, and RELAX, don’t panic and don’t fight it, use it and it will support you.

And we all know of course the mind doesn’t just do as it’s told, it needs to be trained, daily. This is what we do at MMP. When you swim you don’t worry about your body but over time marvel at what it can do for you. Swimmers appreciate this. Similarly with the mind over time you get to marvel at what it can do for you once you regularly train it. Swimming and mind training have a lot in common.

For swimmers all bodies are on ‘public display’; that’s the way our bodies really are, imperfect and slowly ageing, they’re meant to. So training is required to slow this, your mind feels better, so do you.

The common engredient in swimming is breathing and being immersed in a different medium namely water. Of course it’s non-weight bearing, gentle on the body and highly anaerobic in its impact. The most aerobically fit people are swimmers. Again, relax in the water, don’t go too fast at first, warm up and UNWIND. And an excellent way to relax is simply to BREATH OUT MORE THAN YOU BREATH IN.

Again if you don’t believe this, then simply try it, and let your intuitive mindbe the judge (not just your busy, critical and complaining mind), remembering there are 2 sorts of mind. Re-reading the 10 Mind Management Principles may help. Then get wet, good luck and enjoy as you train both body and mind!

0 Comments

OWNERSHIP & REDUCING THE I, ME & MINE

4/22/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
continuing theme in psychology is this notion of ownership. It can cause a lot of heartache and suffering. For example if you have a strong indentity there can be an assumption that you must always have it on display. Commonly strong identities also have a strong sense of what drives them, usually ego, associated with self-worth, self-confidence and importance. And these are yours and non-negotiable, you may in fact feel you OWN them. However there is balance, situations for this to be culled and therefore not displayed.

How does this relate to ownership? Ownersip and too much focus on ownership can cause you to get into trouble by all experiences having to be dealt with, assessed, evaluated and filed. And for the multi-tasking busy mind that can be a headache. It wants everything! But how to slow down and focus on one thing at a time is the antidote. This is the thread of unsatisfactoriness that we all deal with, deliberate focusing. It’s hard but gets easier with practise.

Going fast balanced with being slow, achieving outcomes balanced with respecting process, watching the detail (micro) balanced with the big picture (macro), where we’re heading.

And what depicts legal ownership clearly for the physical world are these notions of I, me and mine. Just listen next time you’re in conversation: the I’s, the me’s and the mine’s. They rarely stop. For the balanced psychological mind there is not too heavier a focus on physical ownership. Physical ownership is fleeting. Psychological ownership is sometimes pointless, so hanging onto it also makes no sense.

Yet because we can be so obsessed with ownership the same physical ownership formula is often applied to the psychological material. This is the problem and because the psychological material although you can’t touch feels so real it has an enormous impact on the way the mind operates. Study ownership carefully, we don’t really own that much, perhaps more accurately we’re all really LEASING. And managing, just MIND MANAGING!

0 Comments

CURIOSITY

3/11/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
uriosity, interest, a spirit of enquiry or inquisitiveness about your own life, can be like a thread, an intangible something, or a feeling that can be lying idle within us all. It lies there until we make some genuine enquiry, take the opportunity to look carefully, then and only then, something frequently happens to awaken the mind. As it can with all minds. This can put us on a different path, a path of growth, of change and discovery. But if you don’t get around to this then it simply stays idle.

And to have this thread of curiosity or interest woven into your everyday experience so deeply that you embrace even the very mundane serves to develop something special within you and promotes a refreshingly different relationship with your mind. But it does require time, patience and practice. It’s no panacea but simply validates introspection and an enduring interest in your known internal life. This inexorably leads to an investigation which then may lead to valuing and appreciating the richness of life more. If life is a precious gift (McMahon, 2006), the quest here is simply to unwrap this gift both slowly and properly. And if life is really an incredible journey, the further quest may not be just to complete the journey but also to plan it properly by reading the map that is always waiting for each of us to be read.

Maps are made because places exist; they’re like programs, sometimes it’s important to follow a map or program to get to a place, or space, especially if you haven’t been there before. But you won’t see any map unless you a) become a little curious about your life (the gift) and b) decide you want this journey to actually be the best it can be (by training your mind).

At MMP we have designed a map over 4 weeks that when followed will be the beginnning of significant change, improved contentment and understanding, less reactivity and more control. WE suggest you stay curious and continue unwrapping, great rewards can await.

0 Comments

NOT ALWAYS TAKING EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY AND PERSONALLY

3/3/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
n the MMP program there is one absolute that stands out again and again and again. CHANGE! Yes there’s macro change and micro change, major change and minor change, big change and small change.

The post on ‘MMP and being a small business’ suggests that we are all really ‘in business with ourselves’ and that if we aim low we’ll invaribly succeed but if we aim high we may just GROW. Again while there are some things we can change and seem to control there is much more that we cannot change, let alone control. So don’t always try! Allow change to happen, gradually. Plant the right seeds, nurture them and wait. Watch as change happens!

And over time you’ll see inevitably it’s about the small change. The ‘untrained’ mind of course thinks otherwise, wanting and reacting to big change, major events, and earth shattering headlines. These minds want the best films to see, the most interesting people to meet, the best parties to attend, most interesting jobs to work at, the most successful investments, best assets, coolest clothes to wear etc. etc………..they’re into mega, best and grandest all in a big way!

Yet in the ten mind management principles, principle 1  states the mind is but one aspect of you and not the totally of who you are.

At MMP we say once again it’s simply about the type of mind we cultivate or train. Remember there seems to be two sorts of mind: The first one can be highly charged, critical and continually going at an extremely fast pace, always stressed and wanting things to be different from the way they are; the second sort of mind is more intuitive, calmer and circumspect, able to reflect.

At Mind Management Psychology we aim to cultivate the second sort. Once you can get a handle on the mind’s operations you tend to work out the difference between these two minds and on what you can really change and develop, and what you can’t, then you’ll begin to GROW! You’ll begin this process each day, by focusing on the ‘small change’ and slowing down again, yes, each day. That’s the daily practise, easy to do, minimal time and cumulative benefits. Change will happen, improved contentment and control await.

Ironically ‘Growth’ here is not about taking more stuff on board but simply being clear on observing things more, witnessing them. It’s being clear that change is always occurring, whether you like it or not, every second in respect to your body’s physiology and days, weeks or months and years in respect to other things, such as your own personal development and the physical environment eg. nature, human construction, organisations,  etc.

Therefore it’s important to focus on what we have some control over. If you always take things personally, every interaction, every thought, every disagreement, every situation, every idea then you carry a heavy load. Not only does your ‘untrained’ mind have to evaluate what you are experiencing but it also has to decide how to retain it it if pleasurable, reject it if not. This in psychological terms is ‘suffering’. It’s a gigantic psychological overload! Today, that’s what burdens many minds; minds being ‘untrained’.

The good news is you don’t always have to add to it! Yes you can lighten the load! Give yourself a break. You can with a litte practise “Deliberately slow down for part of each day” begin the training. Change will happen, improved contentment and control await. Try it and see. You decide!
Then you may find you don’t take everything so seriously or personally!

0 Comments

THE RIVER THAT IS MIND

12/29/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
useful way to improve yourself in psychological terms is to change the relationship you have with your mind. This has direct immediate and tangible benefits, and it’s easy to do if you use your imagination. At Mind Management Psychology we say once you have done this for the first time, you need to practise this daily, or, if you forget then simply press the refresh button to re-mind yourself about your own mind.

When your mind is not behaving or, when you want things different from the way they are and you’re feeling stressed or depressed just thank your mind. Things always can be better and worse, they will always change, things can always improve. The mind has this amazing capacity for criticism and complaining, seeing negatives before positives. If you don’t believe this, just  try watching it.

We said in the post MMP & Not Holding on as Tightly that the mind usually feels losses more readily than gains, sees obstacles before possibilities and bad luck before good luck. This in combination is psychological suffering at work. 

The good thing about the suffering is that it can lead us to a different way of thinking about the mind. Instead of thinking about the mind as the brain or a computer that does its own thing try imagining that the mind is like a river, subject to  weather conditions. You cannot control the weather but you can prepare for inclement weather…………..

THE MIND BEING LIKE A RIVER:
  1. Sometimes rivers flood and burst their banks, sometimes they are calm, sometimes they have rapids carrying all manner of debris in them, leaving them very dangerous and sometimes during a drought they can seem to dry up. At these difficult times just imagine you’re actually in the river. That’s why life seems so difficult. So get out of the river and watch! 
  2.  Because rivers are natural products of our environment distributing fresh water and maintaining essential biodiversity for life they therefore respond to changing weather conditions. This is completely natural.
  3. We rarely in these days of ‘climate change’ say let’s control the weather but more let’s control ourselves and our behaviour (reducing carbon emissions).
  4. The mind is similiar sometimes the mind can be calm, content and relaxed, sometimes excited, agitated, angry and scattered.

At MMP we say that practise IS ALL ABOUT GETTING OUT OF THE RIVER, sitting on the bank AND WATCHING FOR A FEW MINUTES EACH DAY! YOU WILL BEGIN TO REALISE THE MIND IS JUST LIKE A RIVER! TRY IT! THERE’S NOTHING TO FEAR IF YOU GET OUT and DON’T SWIM IN IT so much, remember IT’S JUST A RIVER!

0 Comments

AS THIS UNIVERSE MANAGES ITSELF

12/27/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
here’s a close association between our minds and our universe which we tend to both not be aware of and when we are conveniently forget, because minds are usually too busy, caught up in the practical and seemingly the trivial. Unless we think big!  This relationship is strong and robust though only when it’s cultivated. There’s some amazing scientific facts today that we all can be privy to. So let’s think big for a minute.

Earth is 8000 miles in diameter and orbits the sun at 66,000 miles per hour (Bloom, 2001). It spins (rotates) 25,142.9 miles (its circumference) every 24 hours. This planet (at the equator) is consequently spinning at over a 1000 miles per hour! Although it is estimated that for every grain of sand on earth there are more stars in the galaxies, it’s also been estimated there are “more connections within the human brain than there are particles in the known universe” (McGilchrist, 2009, p9) and the brain has “a hundred billion nerve cells called neurons and many more support cells” (Arden, 2010, p3). According to Damasio (1994) “every neuron forms about 1,000 synapses, although some can have as many as 5,000 or 6,000 … there are more than 10 trillion synapses” p29. A hundred billion nerve cells is equivalent to the stars in our galaxy yet in our heads we are into the trillions of connections. We all then could be carrying a massively expanded version of this connectivity within our galaxy in our heads. Try and stay with that for a moment.

But more stars than grains of sand, and more connections within the human brain than particles in the known universe? Perhaps instead of saying I can’t comprehend this, try not thinking about it, but try and ‘feel’ the enormity of that. We all carry this capacity around. How insignificant are we really in the scheme of things and yet at the same time how enormously potentially powerful could each of us be? What an absolutely amazing organ is the brain?

 Sagan (2003) even calculated the number of probable planets in the universe at ten billion trillion, the chances of randomly being on one as less than one in a billion, trillion trillion, that is 1 in 1000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or 1 in 1033 which immediately places gambling odds in staggeringly more favourable contexts. He states “if we were randomly inserted into the universe, the chances you would be on or near a planet would be less than one in a billion trillion trillion” p26.

To give some understanding to these way ‘out there’ probabilities Davies (1990) proposed that if  the ‘big bang’ was out by just one part in 1060 then the universe as we know it would not have formed. He suggested “suppose you wanted to fire a bullet at a one inch target on the other side of the observable universe twenty billion light years away, you would need to be accurate to one part in 1060 ” p179.  Being mindful of some of these calculations can be only a very humble beginning in our quest to gain some perspective on the reality of being here; how unlikely the universe really is to have formed the way it has; how important yet insignificant we are; how precious life perhaps really is yet how little we appreciate any of this. 

At Mind Management Psychology having a time to deliberately reflect and appreciate some of this each day is an opportunity to cultivate something special, a relationship with something that is completely self-managing, amazingly unlikely to have formed with a complexity not disimiliar to each of our brains. A kind of  relationship with yourself.  With practise there is a something very special going on. And very big; that’s our amazing universe! It manages itself, and yes, your mind can to as long as it’s trained.

0 Comments

NOT HOLDING ON AS TIGHTLY

12/22/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
ne of the most difficult facts about the mind is it’s ability to sift and troll through the wreckage of past events, what did happen, what didn’t happen, who did what to whom, who’s fault it was etc. gathering together evidence that life can be unsatisfactory, undesirable things happen and injustices occur. Too much of this however can leave you drained, tired and feeling you’re not going well. The mind seems to remember the unpleasant events though quickly forgets the joyful times. It feels losses more readily than gains, sees obstacles before possibilities and bad luck before good luck. This in combination is psychological suffering at work. 

Unfortuneately today much of  this suffering appears normal! For the mind it can be holding on to negative events, and those resulting worries and feelings that remain ‘unresolved’. But the fact is a lot of negativity can be quite attractive keeping the mind ‘in check.’ So the psychology of ‘Not letting Go’ of  ‘HOLDING ON’ , is again, quite normal. When we think of humanity in ancient times the physical act of NOT LETTING GO was essential for our survival, it could have been literally a life or death outcome when confronted by wild animals, an aggressive waring tribe or saving a child who had slipped on a precarious mountain ledge. If it was a matter of life or death, the mind had to hold on to the thought, memory of an event etc. and react. This constructed essential imprints for the mind in dealing with life. Today however it’s all changed, but the mind hasn’t, the imprints remain.

The secret at MMP is to learn a way to let go by initially accepting the mind’s nature and not trying to let go as much but also by NOT HOLDING ON AS TIGHTLY! Through watching more and reacting less, by observing, by being mindful your mind becomes more aware and you become more awake.

LETTING GO BEGINS NATURALLY AS NOT HOLDING ON AS TIGHTLY GAINS MOMENTUM, TRY IT YOU’LL BE SURPRISED! So don’t try to let go just don’t hold on with all your strength! Be Patient. And Practise.

0 Comments

THE ART OF NON-DOING

12/21/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
e are all so BUSY! It just doesn’t stop, always on the go, planning the next THING to do. We’re living  in the future, AND THAT’S WHERE WE’LL SLOW DOWN AND NOT DO, but not now because we’re rarely present. Working, travelling, exercising, walking the dog, shopping, socialising, looking after children and family, paying bills, eating, cooking, cleaning, manageing finances and holidaying rarely does ‘doing’ show us how or allow us to SLOW DOWN  right now.  We think we always have to do to be something  but the good news is we don’t. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT JUST YOUR MIND! YOU HAVE TO PRACTISE THOUGH! Practise BEING more and DOING less for a small part of each day, it’s about being present for that part of each day.

But why am I not JUST my mind? It’s based on the notion that we all have different qualities of mind, displaying different moods and emotions at different ‘times’. Expressions such as ‘an ‘open’ or ‘closed’ mind’, or a ‘sharp’ or ‘dull’ mind or ‘flexible’ or ‘rigid’ mind are not uncommon. Even ‘angry’ or ‘peaceful’ mind, we could go on; the ‘private’ mind is aware of these qualities of mind but perhaps not the ‘public’. These qualities of mind are essentially a product of the everyday mental activity we all live with. If the mental activity is not us, not the sum total of who we really then it must be but one ‘changeable’ aspect of self. You cannot wrap it up, touch it, throw it away, that’s part of the problem, but you can allow it to recede, you can with practice, ‘let it go’ or, as we’ll see  learn to ‘hold on not as tightly’. We know when our ‘mind’ is relatively content; it feels as if things are going on ‘according to plan’. We also know when it’s not, when we may be ‘reacting’ to a succession of unplanned events or dealing with ‘new’ circumstances, such as accommodating continual ‘change’, wishing things were different from the way they are, which for many becomes the most  familiar daily pattern. And then dealing with the associated stress this causes.

So to be your mind continually and to totally own it all is to have no respite, and, while that is fine for some, when things are not going well, that can promote ‘overly identifying’ with it. We can over personalise with mind taking everything far too seriously. This can place you on a merry-go-round of negative emotions, continually again wishing for things to be different from the way they are and that inevitably will leave you disappointed and drained. To be your mind continually can for some become a ‘prison sentence’.

In other words I know when I feel I’m ‘travelling OK’ my mind ostensibly isnot in turmoil and I feel relatively ‘in control’ (of my mind). This mind can be quite calm and relaxed and a presentation (judgement) something like this can appear: ‘life’s OK’, ‘this is good’, ‘I’m having a productive day’ etc. Even though all this feels OK we can often ‘not think’ nor question the role of the mind plays in this. We usually accept that whatever the mind says is fairly accurate. So we grow to value and appreciate the minds input or, we think it’s ‘our’ input, so as long as things are ‘going OK’ we are too. But we know in life things don’t always go OK. At such times having an awareness through accessing another type of mind will be helpful, because as we shall see there are really two sorts of mind.

      1. The Doing (Ordinary) Mind

      2. The Being (Original) Mind 

Cultivate no. 1 and no. 2 reduces, cultivate no. 2 and you’ll get more done mindfully and be happier!  Read the other posts to find out how.

0 Comments

CREATING MORE SPACE

12/21/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
t MMP we see the common problems for ALL minds as difficulty CONCENTRATING, over BUSYNESS and dealing with DISTRACTION. Too much information can see the mind not focus clearly because…….for an individual mind commonly there can be so much going on, they’re so compacted with information, it can feel like  there’s no room, no free space or real estate. There is however a way to create some.

THE CENTRAL QUESTION

IT IS POSSIBLE TO GET SOME ADDITIONAL SPACE.  IT IS  POSSIBLE TO BROADEN & ENLARGE THE MIND, TO HAVE MORE FREE REAL ESTATE TO BUILD ON?

MMP is firstly about CREATING SOME INTERNAL MIND SPACE which is yours’. MMP does this by teaching you to construct a cortical or cognitive FREEWAY in order TO GAIN THIS SPACE. Through some simple exercises you begin the process of clearing the site (your mind) so you end up with more room, more control and more capacitity. Remember this is  no one else’s but your own real estate so you may as well make use of it.

SITE DEVELOPMENT: As with the devloping of any new space or the construction of anything this requires PREPARATION.  At  MMP the process of  constructing  a cortical/cognitive freeway requires that you firstly CLEAR THE SITE. This is the preparation. MMP is all about this INTERNAL SITE CLEARING, DAILY!

Over a short time you develop this extra space, and control through a deliberate daily practise, capacity increases. 
  1. Deliberate daily practice, 2 minutes
  2. Practice changes the brain’s structure 
  3. It’s important to remember in order to develop a practice there’s a little bit of craziness that’s required
  4. This allows you to operate on the edge of your ability
  5. Remember there’s a 100 trillion possible connections in the brain, that’s serious real estate to be located

0 Comments

DELIBERATELY SLOWING DOWN FOR PART OF EACH DAY

11/9/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
he title says it all. How come it’s so easy to race, to speed up, to multi-task and live in the future, or the past? Yet not the other way round, slowing down, being a bit calmer in the present and relaxing inspite of the stress. The mind can be so “busy” and  we all get so used to this, going at a pace where we generally find it difficult to slow down and just be with ourselves. No, it’s too boring and no time! Stop right there.

At MMP we teach you how to get actually right inside the stress, truly embracing it and ironically it’s being right inside that will see it REDUCE! This irony is based on a simple daily practice for 1 or 2 minutes, that’s all no more. Getting inside needs some practice at first but you will truly be surprised at how doable this is.

Over a few short weeks things will begin to change, a seed will be planted. Giving yourself a daily ‘timeout’ of just a couple of minutes is all that’s required, which is really ‘time-in’. MMP helps you experiment a little  and if  you want your life to be special then also accept that this life is a ‘gift’.  Therefore you will need to unwrap it properly. MMP teaches just this, no more, no less, each day.

And if you think your life is just not quite right and maybe missing something right now you may be closer to finding that ‘something’. One thing is clear, KEEP LOOKING and you may find that something, stop looking and you won’t!

0 Comments
<<Previous

    Nial Wotherspoon

    Psychologist and Occupational Therapist based in Melbourne, Australia with over 30 years clinical experience.

    Archives

    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011

    Categories

    All
    Anger
    Health
    Mind
    Relationships
    Stress

    RSS Feed

For a Simple Program to Put You in Healthy Contact with Your Mind, 
Contact Mind Management Psychology



Home  |  Meet Nial  |  The Four Week Program  |  FAQ  |  Contact  |  Blog
Nial Wotherspoon | Mind Management Psychology | Psychologists Melbourne | Psychologist In Melbourne | Psychologist Melbourne CBD | Bulk Billing Psychologist Melbourne | Family Psychologist Melbourne
Website by Small Business Web Designs

Nial Wotherspoon | Mind Management Psychology| Psychologists Melbourne | Psychologist In Melbourne | Psychologist Melbourne CBD | Bulk Billing Psychologist Melbourne | Family Psychologist Melbourne
Auckland Web Design by Small Business Web Design