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Nial Wotherspoon | Mind Management Psychology | Psychologists Melbourne | Psychologist In Melbourne | Psychologist Melbourne CBD | Bulk Billing Psychologist Melbourne | Family Psychologist Melbourne
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OWNERSHIP & REDUCING THE I, ME & MINE

4/22/2012

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continuing theme in psychology is this notion of ownership. It can cause a lot of heartache and suffering. For example if you have a strong indentity there can be an assumption that you must always have it on display. Commonly strong identities also have a strong sense of what drives them, usually ego, associated with self-worth, self-confidence and importance. And these are yours and non-negotiable, you may in fact feel you OWN them. However there is balance, situations for this to be culled and therefore not displayed.

How does this relate to ownership? Ownersip and too much focus on ownership can cause you to get into trouble by all experiences having to be dealt with, assessed, evaluated and filed. And for the multi-tasking busy mind that can be a headache. It wants everything! But how to slow down and focus on one thing at a time is the antidote. This is the thread of unsatisfactoriness that we all deal with, deliberate focusing. It’s hard but gets easier with practise.

Going fast balanced with being slow, achieving outcomes balanced with respecting process, watching the detail (micro) balanced with the big picture (macro), where we’re heading.

And what depicts legal ownership clearly for the physical world are these notions of I, me and mine. Just listen next time you’re in conversation: the I’s, the me’s and the mine’s. They rarely stop. For the balanced psychological mind there is not too heavier a focus on physical ownership. Physical ownership is fleeting. Psychological ownership is sometimes pointless, so hanging onto it also makes no sense.

Yet because we can be so obsessed with ownership the same physical ownership formula is often applied to the psychological material. This is the problem and because the psychological material although you can’t touch feels so real it has an enormous impact on the way the mind operates. Study ownership carefully, we don’t really own that much, perhaps more accurately we’re all really LEASING. And managing, just MIND MANAGING!

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RE-LEARNING TO RE-APPRECIATE

4/21/2012

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es it’s like going back to school again, or more accurately it’s like you never left. At school you learnt stuff, you probably were force fed a whole lot of information that you think is of little use now. But it was when you learnt that you laid down priceless imprinting.

So these foundations that school taught you were then and remain now critical, you use them every day; probably without even knowing…… so MMP seeks to change this.

At school the interactions with students and teachers taught you a valuable social repertoire which you no doubt still use, the differences and nuances around making friends, co-operation, likes and dislikes. On a practical level learning the alphabet and counting numbers were probably the first structured things you learnt ‘off by heart’. With practice reading followed. These imprints are strong, very strong, so at MMP that’s what we build on.

Mind Management Psychology embraces and nurtures these foundations, which are in fact literally and figuratively the building blocks for a successful life. You go no-where without them. For example there is probably not a day that goes by when you do not access numerical skills, or language skills including the alphabet. Yet these can go largely undervalued. So we revisit these foundations, in a calm and totally relaxed manner.

At MMP we have designed exercises for you to practise ‘concentrating’ the mind for a short time each day. It includes counting, reciting the alphabet a special way and combining letters with numbers. It’s challenging, doable and CONCENTRATES THE MIND! With time, patience and practice you can actually accelerate the rewiring of your brain.

As a result you re-learn to re-appreciate!

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YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET

4/10/2012

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es, your most valuable asset is of course the person you most likely at times take for complete granted, YOURSELF! RECOGNIZE THAT FIRST. For example, you can go for many years thinking that your physical health is out of your control until something goes wrong with it, that’s what disease and illness teach us. But today there’s also an increasing focus on the ‘mind’ and its impact on mental health. At MMP we take this very seriously and ask you to respect this most valuable asset by ironically paying a special sort of attention to it.

Also recognise that you may need to be a little selfish (each day) to cultivate this most valuable asset for optimum health. But being selfish in this society generally has negative connotations so we view selfishness in a poor light, to be avoided, it’s bad……. but not so at MMP it’s important to get it right, the right type of selfishness is absolutely ESSENTIAL! So we utterly ask you to revisit this word. We promote a certain sort of selfishness, it’s a non distracting selfishness for a few minutes each day. And it’s non-negotiable for your contentment, happiness and well being. Why?

Let’s remind ourselves, the Dalai Lama speaks about 2 sorts of selfishness: 1. Wise Selfishness and 2. Foolish Selfishness

Today 2 gets all the attention and publicity but delivers very little satisfaction. In fact the more it’s practised the worse it gets. Foolish selfishness can never ever be satisfied as it just wants more, of everything, a better car, a newer house, a longer holiday, more travel, newer appliances, a better job, more money and is usually very adept at complaining. Foolish selfishness promotes a singular emphasis on I, me and mine. Foolish selfishness therefore knows no boundaries so you place no limitations on what it can deliver which adds to the pointlessness and disappointment often experienced.

Foolish selfishness is not giving to others your time, not assisting them when you can and is totally self-absorbed. Foolish selfishness promises a lot but delivers little.

Wise selfishness on the other hand is knowing that unless you get yourself ‘right’ it’s all fairly pointless, you’ll get nothing right. And yes, there is of course a balance.

Remember the more you practise 1 the more 2 diminishes and visa versa. Some good examples of wise selfishness are having a time each day to reflect of your life in a calm relaxed manner, practising the medtation techniques (wise selfishness) taught at MMP. This is paying a special sort of (wise) attention to your most valuable asset, YOU!

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    Nial Wotherspoon

    Psychologist and Occupational Therapist based in Melbourne, Australia with over 30 years clinical experience.

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